Whether you work, live or play with an ISTJ, you’ll notice some fairly distinct personality traits that appear with so much regularity that it makes you do a double-take.

Is this person rude in general or being rude to you specifically? When it becomes obvious that this person is not only sincere but doing these things repeatedly—with a smile no less!—how could you not be suspicious?

Never fear. Your person is an ISTJ. Driven by our love of order, structure, honesty and observation, anISTJ has habits that might appear rudeat first but are actually so much more when you look twice.

An ISTJ will point out that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes. Or that your clothes could use an update. They claim to be your friend but refuse to hop aboard a spontaneous road trip. They love you dearly but won’t kiss you in public.

Our super-reliable personality traits may come across as blunt, uncaring or downright cringe-worthy until you understand what motivates them. A little understanding goes a long way. Instead of taking it personally, you can chalk it up to personality.

Here are seven ISTJ habits that seem rude… but aren’t meant to be. And why.

1. We keep a lock on the diary and the door

We are upset if one of our possessions goes missing or we catch you snooping in our business. Yes, we want a relationship that is trusting, but it takes a long time for us to build it. And we will expect you to be trustworthy first.

ISTJs have a deep respect for boundaries and as an inverse, you won’t catch them prying where they haven’t been invited. They might come off rude when they object to you leaving your things lying around in their personal space or you interfere in their private affairs, but they are following their instincts to keep order in the universe.

2. We follow the rules no matter what carrot you dangle in front of us

ISTJs will not only refuse to go along with your latest prank but might even turn you in to authorities if they feel you are putting yourself into a dangerous situation or breaking the law.

Don’t take it personally when an ISTJ isn’t interested in something risky, out of bounds, or in a gray area. We won’t flirt with breaking the rules, even if you beg… it’s because you are our friend and it’s for your own good. And we won’t enable you if you have a bad habit of your own.

3. We deflect public displays of affection

If you swooped in for that peck on the cheek and got the cold shoulder, it isn’t you, it’s us. ISTJs avoid external displays of every emotional type, including anger, grief and euphoria. Yes, we care. Very much. We’remore sensitive than you might expect. But we don’t share it in the way you were expecting.

ISTJs need an incredible amount of time to process emotion into a place where it’s fit for public consumption. And when we are ready to share, it will be private and with a nice cushion of personal space.

If we are jolted into an emotional reaction, we have no idea how to express this thing we’re feeling. Duck. It gets messy and awkward and overkill when we’re socially forced to display it and we don’t get the message across properly. Hint: we can’t find that sweet conveyance spot and it kills us. There is no subtlety here. We are emotionally obtuse.

4. We tell the truth

Here’s onehard truth about ISTJsthat regularly lands us in hot water. We couldn’t lie if we had to and keeping our mouth shut doesn’t help. Our face betrays us. Being honest can come off incredibly rude, as ISTJs aren’t into sugarcoating or white lies.

We won’t coddle you if we think you need a shove. We won’t flatter you if we think you’re making a haircut mistake. We can’t pretend to love the gift you gave us or enjoy the party you dragged us to. This is one deeply ingrained personality trait and it isn’t personal. We tell you the truth because we love you. Honest.

5. We keep disappearing

Physically from a family gathering or verbally from a work meeting or mentally in the carpool. ISTJs habitually ghost, but it isn’t because they don’t enjoy your company. We absolutely must regulate our introversion.

Energy conservation can be managed in several ways, but we don’t always have the luxury of taking alone time when we need it. When an ISTJ gets quiet, they are attempting to recharge their battery so they can keep going. Sometimes a small break from the conversation or a longer break from the room will do the trick. Sometimes, we are forced to stick our heads in the proverbial sand and read a book in the corner until we can function again.

6. We focus on the task at hand

If there’s a job to be done, an ISTJ makes it happen and our love of efficiency, problem-solving, and attention to detail means we aren’t slowing down for idle banter, small talk, gossip or ego-stroking on the side. We aren’t trying to be rude. We prioritize work over socializing and keep our eyes on the prize.

For us, that’s a job well done. For those around us, it can appear dismissive, insensitive, distant or unsympathetic. Work will come first for the ISTJ and play or relaxation will come after because we value responsibility. From our point of view, our work is very personal and for your benefit. It pays the bills and makes the playtime possible.

7. We laugh at all the wrong times

ISTJs enjoy sarcasm, dry wit and dark humor. We are the Inspectors and sometimes what we discover strikes our funny bone. When you present something ironic, hypocritical or incongruous to an ISTJ, we’re going to notice.

扔一个惊奇的聚会?不是有趣的。使用the wrong word in a sentence can be hilarious. Telling them to loosen up? Not funny. Watching the boss loosen up on the dance floor? Fraught with chuckles. Pranking them? Not funny. Watching cats leap away in terror from a cucumber is something we can laugh at all day long.

ISTJs love order in their world and champion the cause with habits that can be hard to appreciate. When things deviate from their expected order or take an unexpected turn, ISTJs react by attempting to restore order. We don’t intend to be rude. But it might look that way.

In the end, it’s either a mess to be cleaned up or a joke to be laughed over for the rest of the week.

PS: A play on words is always funny.Enjoy.