Ever heard the expression “The family that plays together, stays together?” The 4th of July is a time of family fun, but not everyone sees “fun” the same way. Because fun can mean different things to different people, you may want to adapt your holiday plans to suit the entire family...or risk a potential meltdown.

Here’s how to ensure your celebrations go smoothly through the power of personality.

Happy people, happy families

Everyone brings their own personality quirks to a family get-together. For instance, yourESFPsibling might bring an off-beat game for everyone to play. Only yourENTJparent gets really competitive about board games and they'll only take part if they can conquer or win something. Meanwhile, yourISFPcousin just wants everyone to please get along and be kind to each other!

Yikes! How do you have fun while managing all these different personalities?

The answer is to first figure out everyone's personality type, then use this knowledge to plan (or loosely plan) your day with your family unit in mind. You may not be able to squeeze in all the activities that people would prefer to do, but you should be able to structure your day with enough balance that everyone has a good time.

How do I find out my family's personality types?

The obvious answer is to have themtake a personality test– but that's probably not at the top of your list of activities this 4th of July! Instead, focus on the two key facets of personality that are likely to have the most impact on your day:

• Who is an Extravert and who is an Introvert?
• Who is a Judger and who is a Perceiver?

The first is relatively easy to pick up. Introverts typically take longer to think and speak than Extraverts, and they listen to people well. They're not always quieter than Extraverts, but you likely will notice them watching others and avoiding being the center of attention. Introverts hold conversations one-on-one or in small groups. Extraverts, on the other hand, tend to be more outgoing and talkative. They love spending time with a large group and may take control of group conversations.

It’s harder to figure out whether someone is aJudger or Perceiver但是你通常可以发现它通过观察everyone takes to tasks and makes decisions. Judgers tend to be more structured, organized and orderly in their approach to tasks and activities. They prefer things that have a clear beginning, middle and end. Perceivers are more open-ended and flexible. They prefer to go with the flow and their relaxed attitude can often be contagious.

Why does this matter?

If your family is dominated by Perceivers who’d prefer to take the day as it comes, they're not going to be happy if you plan every minute of your day with no room for spontaneity. The same goes the other way around: your Judgers will feel frustrated if there's no plan at all between the barbecue and the fireworks, and everyone ends up arguing about what to do next.

For Introverts, having an action-packed day that's all togetherness and “go-go-go!” will not give them the downtime they need to recharge their batteries. Introverts need blocks of quiet time to rest and recharge or they quickly will run out of energy. Extraverts, on the other hand, may get frustrated if your plans have too much downtime or if family members just disappear in the middle of all the fun!

Balancing everyone’s needs and preferences can be tricky. Instead of going one way or the other, take the middle ground. Plan some of the festivities while leaving blocks of time open to spontaneity. Plan quiet activities alongside the more active ones, or at least make sure there's a place for Introverts to retreat to if needed. This combination of planned / unplanned and together / apart will keep almost everyone happy because you won't be leaving it up to one extreme.

Make a game out of personality discovery

If you cannot figure out what everyone's personality type is, why not make a game out of it? That way, even if it's too late to build everyone's preferences into your celebrations this year, you'll have some great information for the next big family get-together.

Here are some ideas:

• Play a game of “Would You Rather.” Ask something like, “Would you rather attend a music festival for an entire week or stay isolated at home for an entire week?” to separate the Introverts from the Extraverts. You may want to prepare for some surprising (or painfully obvious) answers!
• Create a “Personality Bingo” game. There are cards for the16 personality typesavailable online. Pass them around and have each person read an item from their card and everyone else who has that item on their card marks it off. Have people try out a few cards and see what personality traits they score highly on.
• Good old-fashioned “Charades” can bring out the mime in every personality type. Place close attention to how everyone on the guessing team communicates – it can be a telling eye-opener.

Other games and activities can, similarly, play into personality. A virtual game of Family Feud or Jeopardy can become a practice in teamwork with personalities shining in opposing areas: yourINTJfamily member may know some specific answers no one else does, while yourENFPcousin is the one who connects everyone with laughter.

Summing it up: A family that plays together, stays together

Family bonding on a holiday doesn’t have to feel forced or unpleasant. Yes, everyone has a different personality type and their own idea of what fun is. But you can learn to accommodate your family members by balancing everyone’s needs, ensuring everyone has some fun on the 4th. In between the fireworks, remember your strengths and those of your family members — you’ll be glad you thought ahead. Once you know how to maximize everyone’s fun together, you can kick back and enjoy the day.