ugh, actually I am here exactly BECAUSE I experienced the shadows of my personality.
Fulfilling my goal of ultimate freedom, I have become self employed in January 2020, but holy moly... with that pandemic destroying my dream within seconds I’m so devastated that I slipped right back into the mess you mentioned right at the beginning of this blog entry.
My motivation is exorbitantly high, but procrastination hit a level even beyond that. It’s like I lost something I can never get back. Ever. A part of my heart died just like that.
Just yesterday - in endless frustration about why I am like... this - I found out about my personality type being INFP and am both surprised and glad to not be the only one suffering when actually living the dream of my life. :’D
this is so paradox that I would like to throw up. Just... HOW?!
My friends always look up to me seeing that everything I touch bloomed in seconds - May it be my job, a new hobby I discovered, a group of people who are in disagreement in which I functioned then as a mediator, catching up quickly with whatever topic, etc.
but geez, it’s burning me out so quickly. As if the flame inside me dies once I built up my personal paradise; as if there’s no sense in going on with things once it has been lifted to my “personal perfection” level.
My eyes are turning blind for what lead me to my job, my hobby, etc. and I get frustrated real quick - with people, with routine, with myself. BOOM I’m back at being that messed up alien again.
I will definitely try to re-schedule my life, do something only extroverts would do and maybe set up dates to try something completely new once in a while to keep my INFP heart beating.
Thank you for this blog entry. Even though it’s been a while from when you posted it, but please know I’m glad I found it.
talking openly about such problems isn’t easy, but helps others - like me - to accept and identify with the pain instead of trying to hide it away.
Cubia (not verified)says...
ugh, actually I am here exactly BECAUSE I experienced the shadows of my personality.
Fulfilling my goal of ultimate freedom, I have become self employed in January 2020, but holy moly... with that pandemic destroying my dream within seconds I’m so devastated that I slipped right back into the mess you mentioned right at the beginning of this blog entry.
My motivation is exorbitantly high, but procrastination hit a level even beyond that. It’s like I lost something I can never get back. Ever. A part of my heart died just like that.
Just yesterday - in endless frustration about why I am like... this - I found out about my personality type being INFP and am both surprised and glad to not be the only one suffering when actually living the dream of my life. :’D
this is so paradox that I would like to throw up. Just... HOW?!
My friends always look up to me seeing that everything I touch bloomed in seconds - May it be my job, a new hobby I discovered, a group of people who are in disagreement in which I functioned then as a mediator, catching up quickly with whatever topic, etc.
but geez, it’s burning me out so quickly. As if the flame inside me dies once I built up my personal paradise; as if there’s no sense in going on with things once it has been lifted to my “personal perfection” level.
My eyes are turning blind for what lead me to my job, my hobby, etc. and I get frustrated real quick - with people, with routine, with myself. BOOM I’m back at being that messed up alien again.
I will definitely try to re-schedule my life, do something only extroverts would do and maybe set up dates to try something completely new once in a while to keep my INFP heart beating.
Thank you for this blog entry. Even though it’s been a while from when you posted it, but please know I’m glad I found it.
talking openly about such problems isn’t easy, but helps others - like me - to accept and identify with the pain instead of trying to hide it away.