The first born was conceived following a "one for the road", last hookup with the biological father. This child was doted upon, cherished, and has always been the favorite.
The second born, was the only son. Cherished, and doted upon.
Bring the third born. is a lot like being the bastard stepchild. Even when I was run over by a drunk driver while riding my bicycle (and dragged several feet, while my legs were pinned beneath my bicycle as the car was accerating at the same time), my parents shrugged it off, saying "0h you can still walk, so you're okay". and this is no exaggeration. It is one example, of many.
In my experience, as the third born, you simply are not valued, cared about, or seen as worthy of receiving parent's time, energy, or emotional engagement, as others in earlier birth order.
Also, as my parents aged, the siblings in earlier birth order did little-to-nothing, to help the parents with their elder life issues. I was the one in the trenches, helping when Dad went through terminal cancer. And for the subsequent 23 years, I was the only one who helped Mom. My siblings never responded to my requests to get involved & help with Mom, over the years...and their lack response was expressed in a deafening silence.
As the years passed, Mom became more and more demanding, and her elder life issues became more complex. Eventually it just became too much, and around this time, i realized that the more and more I did for her - the more demanding she became...and no matter how much I did fir her - she would never appreciate or value me, anywhere near the wat she values the earlier-born siblings, despite the fact that they couldn't be bothered to help her with anything in the 20-plus years since Dad passed away.
So after some thought, and soul-searching, I informed my Mom that I was resigning from being placed into the role of her "surrogate husband", and effective immediately, I would only be her daughter, and that's it. Her reaction was to laugh out loud. to which i responded, that I'm not joking, and it's not funny. I explained that she has other family members that have done little to help her in the past decades, and now it's their turn to get involved, because I'm done.
In my opinion, and experience, as the third-born, you receive the least (if any) support from your parents during your formative years, adolescence, and adulthood...and they can't really be bothered to care about you - unless they're either judging, fault-finding, or blaming you for something - or unless they want something from you, and perceive you as a resource for themselves.
I never hear from my Mom, unless she wants something. And I have stopped trying to nurture relationships with my unresponsive siblings.
With all due respect, you missed quite a lot in your article. Perhaps a candid glimpse into the experiences of one third-born person might help illuminate things somewhat more clearly.
unplanned 3rd born (not verified)says...
The first born was conceived following a "one for the road", last hookup with the biological father. This child was doted upon, cherished, and has always been the favorite.
The second born, was the only son. Cherished, and doted upon.
Bring the third born. is a lot like being the bastard stepchild. Even when I was run over by a drunk driver while riding my bicycle (and dragged several feet, while my legs were pinned beneath my bicycle as the car was accerating at the same time), my parents shrugged it off, saying "0h you can still walk, so you're okay". and this is no exaggeration. It is one example, of many.
In my experience, as the third born, you simply are not valued, cared about, or seen as worthy of receiving parent's time, energy, or emotional engagement, as others in earlier birth order.
Also, as my parents aged, the siblings in earlier birth order did little-to-nothing, to help the parents with their elder life issues. I was the one in the trenches, helping when Dad went through terminal cancer. And for the subsequent 23 years, I was the only one who helped Mom. My siblings never responded to my requests to get involved & help with Mom, over the years...and their lack response was expressed in a deafening silence.
As the years passed, Mom became more and more demanding, and her elder life issues became more complex. Eventually it just became too much, and around this time, i realized that the more and more I did for her - the more demanding she became...and no matter how much I did fir her - she would never appreciate or value me, anywhere near the wat she values the earlier-born siblings, despite the fact that they couldn't be bothered to help her with anything in the 20-plus years since Dad passed away.
So after some thought, and soul-searching, I informed my Mom that I was resigning from being placed into the role of her "surrogate husband", and effective immediately, I would only be her daughter, and that's it. Her reaction was to laugh out loud. to which i responded, that I'm not joking, and it's not funny. I explained that she has other family members that have done little to help her in the past decades, and now it's their turn to get involved, because I'm done.
In my opinion, and experience, as the third-born, you receive the least (if any) support from your parents during your formative years, adolescence, and adulthood...and they can't really be bothered to care about you - unless they're either judging, fault-finding, or blaming you for something - or unless they want something from you, and perceive you as a resource for themselves.
I never hear from my Mom, unless she wants something. And I have stopped trying to nurture relationships with my unresponsive siblings.
With all due respect, you missed quite a lot in your article. Perhaps a candid glimpse into the experiences of one third-born person might help illuminate things somewhat more clearly.