Zde, sounds like you have 2 problems. Firstly, sounds like your INTP has issues that are not related to being an INTP (e.g. being bullied). Having been the (marginally) less neurotic one in an INTP-INTJ relationship I can assure you that INTJs are also capable of being totally illogical (whilst insisting on being fully logical at all times). Try to have some sympathy with your INTP for their difficulties rather than judging them for not being you (yeah, I know, you're an INTJ, but try - just because something is your 'animal instinct' doesn't mean you have to do it, especially since you have surely experienced that most human beings with problems want someone to listen to them, not tell them what to do).
INTP stress response is usually either to release uncontrolled emotion (we can't help it, we hate doing it, and sometimes don't even realise we are doing it) or to avoid everything. Rest assured my INTJ also had their own unhelpful stress reaction, as I'm sure do you, as do all types. If you can't understand this (temporary) reaction for what it is, or somehow see it as a failing in your INTP (they probably see it as a failing too) then maybe the relationship isn't going to work out. Especially if you are actually provoking the stress response with your actions, which is the implication.
Secondly, hating to plan and then execute is not 'illogical', it's just how INTPs are. Being a P type is often frustrating in a world of Js. We see that it would be great to want to plan everything and then execute the plan and not find the whole act of making a plan and then carrying it out to be exhausting/stressful/ohmygodno - in the same way that Is see the way it would be helpful in life to be an E and not be massively exhausted by interacting with people, since life often involves a lot of people. None of this is a matter of logic. By the way, INTPs also tend to find that being a P type has some benefits, like experimenting with new things and ideas, being generally laid back and easy to get on with, not being a robot, that kind of thing. INTJs can usefully co-exist with INTPs with a bit of mutal respect and get a lot out of the relationship, but if you treat your INTP like you are always right and they are always wrong, I can see why your INTP would feel bullied and manipulated.
I have personally found MBTI very helpful in getting on with other types because it helps me to understand how they will react differently to me and see that there is value in difference, rather than characterising people different to me as 'wrong', which is the approach you seem to be leaning towards.
Suz (INTP) (not verified)says...
Zde, sounds like you have 2 problems. Firstly, sounds like your INTP has issues that are not related to being an INTP (e.g. being bullied). Having been the (marginally) less neurotic one in an INTP-INTJ relationship I can assure you that INTJs are also capable of being totally illogical (whilst insisting on being fully logical at all times). Try to have some sympathy with your INTP for their difficulties rather than judging them for not being you (yeah, I know, you're an INTJ, but try - just because something is your 'animal instinct' doesn't mean you have to do it, especially since you have surely experienced that most human beings with problems want someone to listen to them, not tell them what to do).
INTP stress response is usually either to release uncontrolled emotion (we can't help it, we hate doing it, and sometimes don't even realise we are doing it) or to avoid everything. Rest assured my INTJ also had their own unhelpful stress reaction, as I'm sure do you, as do all types. If you can't understand this (temporary) reaction for what it is, or somehow see it as a failing in your INTP (they probably see it as a failing too) then maybe the relationship isn't going to work out. Especially if you are actually provoking the stress response with your actions, which is the implication.
Secondly, hating to plan and then execute is not 'illogical', it's just how INTPs are. Being a P type is often frustrating in a world of Js. We see that it would be great to want to plan everything and then execute the plan and not find the whole act of making a plan and then carrying it out to be exhausting/stressful/ohmygodno - in the same way that Is see the way it would be helpful in life to be an E and not be massively exhausted by interacting with people, since life often involves a lot of people. None of this is a matter of logic. By the way, INTPs also tend to find that being a P type has some benefits, like experimenting with new things and ideas, being generally laid back and easy to get on with, not being a robot, that kind of thing. INTJs can usefully co-exist with INTPs with a bit of mutal respect and get a lot out of the relationship, but if you treat your INTP like you are always right and they are always wrong, I can see why your INTP would feel bullied and manipulated.
I have personally found MBTI very helpful in getting on with other types because it helps me to understand how they will react differently to me and see that there is value in difference, rather than characterising people different to me as 'wrong', which is the approach you seem to be leaning towards.