My mind is blown because this is what I'm currently experiencing. As a first time single mom and coming out of my postpartum depression. I literally lost myself in a dark place. My thinking and vision were so foggy. I was only able to focus on my son. I think I'm also experiencing mental and emotional abuse from my son's father. I felt this deep and intense connection first time ever. Like he's my first genuine true love. And I held onto that for so long here. We never were in official relationship just friends with benefits. I was too scared to let my walls down. Then finding out he got into a relationship but still chose to be intimate with me. I wished him the best of luck and he finds what he's seeking. Door slam. Month later I found out I was pregnant and I ripped that door off it's hinges. I tried. And I feel like I am failing my son and also myself. Sadly I think I am emotionally damaged right now that I want to make amends. Apologize for not communicating my feelings effectively and for misunderstanding him but address he has hurt me and was poorly communicating his feelings and misunderstood me. But for at least the last two years since having our son. His patterns and behaviors are toxic. I have to beg for him to want to be actively involved with our son. It seemed we were an inconvenience for him. He's an ISFJ and I understand he has a much healthy structured routine which I just crave so much because his is well balanced for room to have my spontaneous moments. Idk. I just hurt so much and I really want to drop my bad habits and replace with new and healthier ones. It's been challenging since I'm a single mom and have my 2year old 100%. So I have neglected myself and burnt myself out terribly. But slowly coming out of it and feeling more myself. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so glad I came across it online. Much love.
Kayla Bakkum (not verified)says...
My mind is blown because this is what I'm currently experiencing. As a first time single mom and coming out of my postpartum depression. I literally lost myself in a dark place. My thinking and vision were so foggy. I was only able to focus on my son. I think I'm also experiencing mental and emotional abuse from my son's father. I felt this deep and intense connection first time ever. Like he's my first genuine true love. And I held onto that for so long here. We never were in official relationship just friends with benefits. I was too scared to let my walls down. Then finding out he got into a relationship but still chose to be intimate with me. I wished him the best of luck and he finds what he's seeking. Door slam. Month later I found out I was pregnant and I ripped that door off it's hinges. I tried. And I feel like I am failing my son and also myself. Sadly I think I am emotionally damaged right now that I want to make amends. Apologize for not communicating my feelings effectively and for misunderstanding him but address he has hurt me and was poorly communicating his feelings and misunderstood me. But for at least the last two years since having our son. His patterns and behaviors are toxic. I have to beg for him to want to be actively involved with our son. It seemed we were an inconvenience for him. He's an ISFJ and I understand he has a much healthy structured routine which I just crave so much because his is well balanced for room to have my spontaneous moments. Idk. I just hurt so much and I really want to drop my bad habits and replace with new and healthier ones. It's been challenging since I'm a single mom and have my 2year old 100%. So I have neglected myself and burnt myself out terribly. But slowly coming out of it and feeling more myself. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so glad I came across it online. Much love.