"We also struggle with waiting for others to figure things out. It wastes so much time. We want to take care of the issue and move on."
I think herein lies the issue, or atleast part of it. The problem I personally have with people approaching me in this manner is that its not their decision to make. Nobody has the right to swoop into my life and start tinkering about, no matter how much sense it makes to them. To be clear, I'm not reffering to you, obviously, because I don't know you and have no way of knowing how you operate in reality. But having had encounters such as this I would like to lay stress on the fact that no matter how logical something seems to the INTJ, sometimes they just DON'T know better whats good for the other person. And people also have perfectly valid reasons for rejecting the advice given to them which have nothing to do with being intimidated or unable to face honesty.
I might be talking from a slightly different angle, though. I'm perhaps thinking more of the situations where unwanted advice/attempts to control are doled out without the receiver venting or seeking any kind of emotional comfort. I would also like to say that this is not meant as a personal attack to Debbie, or as a disagreement on the motives of INTJs giving unsolicited advice. I'm only trying to illuminate the other side of this. I'll be the first to admit that this is a somewhat sore spot, because I have dealt with this mentality in my life a few times too often. (I've no idea what personality type I am BTW, and am not that interested in which slot I fit into.) To be sure, I think its arrogant to assume that somebody only gives unsolicited advice because they are insecure, but I will say that its equally arrogant to assume that people are not following your advice/letting you solve their problems simply because they are intimidated by you/ less smart than you/ insecure. And that is deffinitely how people have viewed my rejecting their unsolicited problem solving attempts. Maybe its a different matter if somebody is constantly venting their problems but then get offended for being offered advice?
Hukka (not verified)says...
"We also struggle with waiting for others to figure things out. It wastes so much time. We want to take care of the issue and move on."
I think herein lies the issue, or atleast part of it. The problem I personally have with people approaching me in this manner is that its not their decision to make. Nobody has the right to swoop into my life and start tinkering about, no matter how much sense it makes to them. To be clear, I'm not reffering to you, obviously, because I don't know you and have no way of knowing how you operate in reality. But having had encounters such as this I would like to lay stress on the fact that no matter how logical something seems to the INTJ, sometimes they just DON'T know better whats good for the other person. And people also have perfectly valid reasons for rejecting the advice given to them which have nothing to do with being intimidated or unable to face honesty.
I might be talking from a slightly different angle, though. I'm perhaps thinking more of the situations where unwanted advice/attempts to control are doled out without the receiver venting or seeking any kind of emotional comfort. I would also like to say that this is not meant as a personal attack to Debbie, or as a disagreement on the motives of INTJs giving unsolicited advice. I'm only trying to illuminate the other side of this. I'll be the first to admit that this is a somewhat sore spot, because I have dealt with this mentality in my life a few times too often. (I've no idea what personality type I am BTW, and am not that interested in which slot I fit into.) To be sure, I think its arrogant to assume that somebody only gives unsolicited advice because they are insecure, but I will say that its equally arrogant to assume that people are not following your advice/letting you solve their problems simply because they are intimidated by you/ less smart than you/ insecure. And that is deffinitely how people have viewed my rejecting their unsolicited problem solving attempts. Maybe its a different matter if somebody is constantly venting their problems but then get offended for being offered advice?