So interesting. I chanced upon this article because I'm an INFJ who has just found out that both her parents are xNTJs. And this advice-giving was perhaps their *only* mode of communication with me, their child. After I was a grown-up, it became even more annoying, and then it occurred to me that I just wanted them to listen, maybe I had my own solutions: but, no, their solutions—which were also usually conventional/practical ones—had to be better. I was just nodding along throughout the article. And, viola! it's written by an INFJ: no surprise there!
Though I do agree with some of the comments here—since I know a 'healthier' INTJ—that the worst of this is because the functions are not being managed well: there's a lack of 'balance' with the tertiary and inferior functions, due to which this NT sensibility overpowers everything else, particularly the emotional aspects and listening capacity. The healthy INTJ I know does consider people's feelings and offers advice only when asked/it's indicated.
Interesting to read in one of the comments about the quietness the xNTJ can retreat to, to understand and act better next time. Overall, good discussion!
Sanya (not verified)says...
So interesting. I chanced upon this article because I'm an INFJ who has just found out that both her parents are xNTJs. And this advice-giving was perhaps their *only* mode of communication with me, their child. After I was a grown-up, it became even more annoying, and then it occurred to me that I just wanted them to listen, maybe I had my own solutions: but, no, their solutions—which were also usually conventional/practical ones—had to be better. I was just nodding along throughout the article. And, viola! it's written by an INFJ: no surprise there!
Though I do agree with some of the comments here—since I know a 'healthier' INTJ—that the worst of this is because the functions are not being managed well: there's a lack of 'balance' with the tertiary and inferior functions, due to which this NT sensibility overpowers everything else, particularly the emotional aspects and listening capacity. The healthy INTJ I know does consider people's feelings and offers advice only when asked/it's indicated.
Interesting to read in one of the comments about the quietness the xNTJ can retreat to, to understand and act better next time. Overall, good discussion!