I have never read a more compelling article about myself before- how long have you known me!
I need to dive much, much deeper into this as my tired eyes have only read through it once or twice tonight
Unraveling this about myself may change my life a lot for the better. I have recently been very discouraged about how frequently (1 out of 3 times perhaps) I meet someone usually professionally but sometimes personally who I get along well with at first but then subtly they start to grow weary of me. This describes 90%+ of those issues. That's in addition to the numerous folks who just never seem to like me from the start, where plenty of them may have just been put off by any advice I gave. I look forward to learning more about myself in this.
The advice I give is quite simple and usually related to the mundane. Better keyboard shortcuts to use, ways to work around headaches, settings to use on a particular dryer/microwave... I always like at my work where my job is to give solicited advice and I have to bite my tongue when the comments would be outside of my scope - so I might find some luck using those same "scope creep" mitigation techniques in my personal journey to stop giving unwanted advice. I can also confirm that I absolutely get along well with people who like my advice. I can think specifically of my family, my current boss, and a few friends who absolutely like my advice (again, most just being factual and of the mundane technical verity) and particularly my Boss and one friend give me advice and I appreciate it too. I guess that is where I become at-odds with the content of this article partially, because I feel very confident receiving advice myself which would seem to contradict some of this as over-analysis. Then again I may myself be over reading into this here and
But basically I love giving advice and receiving advice. I like being around people who like receiving it (people who genuinely value the time I spend learning every little detail about everything) and I like unsolicited as well and I am extremely confident and naturally inquisitive to learn if the methods/information are true for my scenario too- but what I never even understood was how counterproductive it was for some others to get unwanted advice.
I also look forward to reading this over several more times and bringing it up with my therapist- and I have pinned it to my Home Screen so I can come back to it and even read the linked studies.
Mark Amber (not verified)says...
Deborah
I have never read a more compelling article about myself before- how long have you known me!
I need to dive much, much deeper into this as my tired eyes have only read through it once or twice tonight
Unraveling this about myself may change my life a lot for the better. I have recently been very discouraged about how frequently (1 out of 3 times perhaps) I meet someone usually professionally but sometimes personally who I get along well with at first but then subtly they start to grow weary of me. This describes 90%+ of those issues. That's in addition to the numerous folks who just never seem to like me from the start, where plenty of them may have just been put off by any advice I gave. I look forward to learning more about myself in this.
The advice I give is quite simple and usually related to the mundane. Better keyboard shortcuts to use, ways to work around headaches, settings to use on a particular dryer/microwave... I always like at my work where my job is to give solicited advice and I have to bite my tongue when the comments would be outside of my scope - so I might find some luck using those same "scope creep" mitigation techniques in my personal journey to stop giving unwanted advice. I can also confirm that I absolutely get along well with people who like my advice. I can think specifically of my family, my current boss, and a few friends who absolutely like my advice (again, most just being factual and of the mundane technical verity) and particularly my Boss and one friend give me advice and I appreciate it too. I guess that is where I become at-odds with the content of this article partially, because I feel very confident receiving advice myself which would seem to contradict some of this as over-analysis. Then again I may myself be over reading into this here and
But basically I love giving advice and receiving advice. I like being around people who like receiving it (people who genuinely value the time I spend learning every little detail about everything) and I like unsolicited as well and I am extremely confident and naturally inquisitive to learn if the methods/information are true for my scenario too- but what I never even understood was how counterproductive it was for some others to get unwanted advice.
I also look forward to reading this over several more times and bringing it up with my therapist- and I have pinned it to my Home Screen so I can come back to it and even read the linked studies.