Perhaps at issue is, simply, the art of giving advice. And the key word is "unsolicited." Certain of us, by temperament (MBTI), upbringing, or profession, fall readily & naturally into solving puzzles and providing logical answers. That skill does not give us the right to usurp someone else's necessary growth through solving their own problems in their own, unique way. It's unfair, actually. A solution that fits a person generally works best when derived from that person's own resourcefulness, not from the outside: "problem ownership" is at issue there. If it ain't your problem, provide only that which is directly solicited of you and leave the person to their own route to follow from that point. Butt out.
I came across this article because i am consistently on the receiving end of unsolicited advice socially, although ironically in my professional life it is my job to find answers and be an expert. Because my head is so full of information, facts, and experience, I keep pretty quiet socially rather than risk overwhelming and boring people. It is therefore with silent amusement that I permit acquaintances to drone on and on about how I should go about doing my life because so often they are full of truly awful information. Often just plain wrong. And yet so confident as they go on and on and on.
Are these people all NT types? I doubt it. I think this is more a personality trait than a temperament bug. For sure it's a powerplay.
However, I can see the author's point in seeing anyone's NT tendencies--whether primary or deeper down in our structure (and, incidentally, therefore a weaker function)--as heavily weighted in the direction of offering smart ideas. Maybe the difference is that, more often, the true NT will actually be correct. Other people--well, there's lots of magical thinking out there, lots of oversensitivity and misinterpretation, overreach beyond one's pay grade. As long as the NT isn't crossing personal boundaries and presuming knowledge that isn't available or provided, I'd go with the NT's suggestions. They're the smart ones. But only when--if--we want them to be.
Weena (not verified)says...
Perhaps at issue is, simply, the art of giving advice. And the key word is "unsolicited." Certain of us, by temperament (MBTI), upbringing, or profession, fall readily & naturally into solving puzzles and providing logical answers. That skill does not give us the right to usurp someone else's necessary growth through solving their own problems in their own, unique way. It's unfair, actually. A solution that fits a person generally works best when derived from that person's own resourcefulness, not from the outside: "problem ownership" is at issue there. If it ain't your problem, provide only that which is directly solicited of you and leave the person to their own route to follow from that point. Butt out.
I came across this article because i am consistently on the receiving end of unsolicited advice socially, although ironically in my professional life it is my job to find answers and be an expert. Because my head is so full of information, facts, and experience, I keep pretty quiet socially rather than risk overwhelming and boring people. It is therefore with silent amusement that I permit acquaintances to drone on and on about how I should go about doing my life because so often they are full of truly awful information. Often just plain wrong. And yet so confident as they go on and on and on.
Are these people all NT types? I doubt it. I think this is more a personality trait than a temperament bug. For sure it's a powerplay.
However, I can see the author's point in seeing anyone's NT tendencies--whether primary or deeper down in our structure (and, incidentally, therefore a weaker function)--as heavily weighted in the direction of offering smart ideas. Maybe the difference is that, more often, the true NT will actually be correct. Other people--well, there's lots of magical thinking out there, lots of oversensitivity and misinterpretation, overreach beyond one's pay grade. As long as the NT isn't crossing personal boundaries and presuming knowledge that isn't available or provided, I'd go with the NT's suggestions. They're the smart ones. But only when--if--we want them to be.