Female INTJ. I like to think that all the requisite courtesies and polite behaviours in speech and at parties as is reasonably expected from broad social rules. However, I do put my foot in it without realising at times. I recently remarked to a neighbour that his dog was the quietest I had ever encountered. I had meant it as a compliment. I was marvelling at his lovely well-behaved dog, with a relaxed tail position and air of calmness. In response, he did not continue to talk about his dog, and instead we exchanged some brief courtesies about the neighbourhood and parted.
After I recounted my encounter with the wonderful dog (and how it was uncharacteristic of its breed) to my partner (ENFP), and how impressed I was by the neighbour's dog handling skills, he very kindly said I had been rude. He told me that I had implied to the neighbour that his dog had vocal cord surgery, which was highly likely. Ergo, I had put him on the spot, as if I were indeed seeking confirmation to a potentially embarrassing fact. I would not judge my neighbour either way, as after all it is not my dog and I do not have to live with its barking, it is well looked after and of a good disposition, etc. I am not a gossip, but my neighbour would not have known. I was warned to stay off the topic by my partner and not try to clarify my position with my poor neighbour, and he's probably right.
Jericho 34 (not verified)says...
Female INTJ. I like to think that all the requisite courtesies and polite behaviours in speech and at parties as is reasonably expected from broad social rules. However, I do put my foot in it without realising at times. I recently remarked to a neighbour that his dog was the quietest I had ever encountered. I had meant it as a compliment. I was marvelling at his lovely well-behaved dog, with a relaxed tail position and air of calmness. In response, he did not continue to talk about his dog, and instead we exchanged some brief courtesies about the neighbourhood and parted.
After I recounted my encounter with the wonderful dog (and how it was uncharacteristic of its breed) to my partner (ENFP), and how impressed I was by the neighbour's dog handling skills, he very kindly said I had been rude. He told me that I had implied to the neighbour that his dog had vocal cord surgery, which was highly likely. Ergo, I had put him on the spot, as if I were indeed seeking confirmation to a potentially embarrassing fact. I would not judge my neighbour either way, as after all it is not my dog and I do not have to live with its barking, it is well looked after and of a good disposition, etc. I am not a gossip, but my neighbour would not have known. I was warned to stay off the topic by my partner and not try to clarify my position with my poor neighbour, and he's probably right.
我相信这并ates the perception of INTJ impoliteness ;)