I agree that the stereotypes do not fit my case and I am a HARD INFJ.
Nobody would call me sweet. I've even been called selfish but this might be due to caring a lot about the comfort of others. BUT when I can't listen to their drama any longer, I'm not good at the slow backing away. I tend to go from listening, listening, listening to ok I'm done. Go away. This shift can make the other person upset but at that point, I no longer care as my tank is empty. If they push it then the Door Slam happens.
This combined with our ability to see patterns and likely future scenarios adds to the frustration of listening to someone complain about a problem, you give them advice based on what is likely to happen, they ignore it, what was predicted happens, they come complaining to you about the same problem.
What makes INFJ's different with our empathy compared to other feelers is I bet if many of us had a switch to turn it off completely for a few hours at a time just to get through the day we would. We feel empathy so strongly that it can distract us from things we REALLY want to get done or we want to retreat to our thinking side to work out problems. I would trade places with an INTJ for half the day in a heartbeat.
I LOVE logic. My career is an awesome mix of understanding people and logic (UX Design). I love unraveling complex systems to understand them and rebuilding them in a way that lets my empathy for understanding how other people process information differently interface with this complex system.
Socially if you don't know me very well I can be extremely charming because I'm focused on the other person, can read their body language and inflections, and want to get to know their authentic selves. If you are a good friend then that mask comes off and I'm way more comfortable but also less "on" as being charming takes work. Good friends who have taken my life and career advice have done really well, even better than myself due to my reluctance to stand out and not being great at understanding my own feelings without talking them through.
Saj1242 (not verified)says...
I agree that the stereotypes do not fit my case and I am a HARD INFJ.
Nobody would call me sweet. I've even been called selfish but this might be due to caring a lot about the comfort of others. BUT when I can't listen to their drama any longer, I'm not good at the slow backing away. I tend to go from listening, listening, listening to ok I'm done. Go away. This shift can make the other person upset but at that point, I no longer care as my tank is empty. If they push it then the Door Slam happens.
This combined with our ability to see patterns and likely future scenarios adds to the frustration of listening to someone complain about a problem, you give them advice based on what is likely to happen, they ignore it, what was predicted happens, they come complaining to you about the same problem.
What makes INFJ's different with our empathy compared to other feelers is I bet if many of us had a switch to turn it off completely for a few hours at a time just to get through the day we would. We feel empathy so strongly that it can distract us from things we REALLY want to get done or we want to retreat to our thinking side to work out problems. I would trade places with an INTJ for half the day in a heartbeat.
I LOVE logic. My career is an awesome mix of understanding people and logic (UX Design). I love unraveling complex systems to understand them and rebuilding them in a way that lets my empathy for understanding how other people process information differently interface with this complex system.
Socially if you don't know me very well I can be extremely charming because I'm focused on the other person, can read their body language and inflections, and want to get to know their authentic selves. If you are a good friend then that mask comes off and I'm way more comfortable but also less "on" as being charming takes work. Good friends who have taken my life and career advice have done really well, even better than myself due to my reluctance to stand out and not being great at understanding my own feelings without talking them through.