I work in higher education in a community of 250,000 that is still primarily white, conservative, religious and into football. I am an INTJ who is white, female, 59 years old, diversity tolerant, not into sports, visually talented, non-religious and slightly paranoid (anxiety depressive).
Part of my problem is my own hard wiring and behaviors. I am always in trouble for being caustic, ironic, irreverent, "weird," and not a team player, but I am technically great at my job, and occasionally someone thinks I am hilarious, so I squeak by, but not unscathed. I will never be promoted or rewarded into higher management, only grudgingly kept on because my technical skill level is high and no one else knows how to do what I do.
另一个问题是环境的一部分。莫st of my co-workers are women, and they were taught in this conservative part of the country that 'being nice' is more valuable than being good at a job, authentic, ethical, fair, tolerant, intelligent, almost anything really.
I was even told once that we can't say the very word 'Problems' at work and should only say 'Opportunities.' How can we ever resolve conflict in a healthy way if we can't even acknowledge problems? Reality is still real, isn't it?
I have been able to adapt to some extent by using humor and smiling a lot, but ultimately my true nature comes out when I have to get the job done and I'm busted again.
Being me is not an excuse to be a jerk, but I do try to accept myself for who I am without berating myself too much. I change the little bit that I can. For example, I now know that if I get an email that is offensive, I will get super hot angry for a period of time so I never email or speak to that person for at least several hours to a day. Then I draft my response, let it sit, edit it down, and finally it sounds normal, or what I think normal is supposed to sound like.
I also bond with a few allies at work, which helps get me through the days.
I still do wish at times I knew what it was like to always know the right thing to say at work or how to say the wrong things just right.
Diana Mann (not verified)says...
I work in higher education in a community of 250,000 that is still primarily white, conservative, religious and into football. I am an INTJ who is white, female, 59 years old, diversity tolerant, not into sports, visually talented, non-religious and slightly paranoid (anxiety depressive).
Part of my problem is my own hard wiring and behaviors. I am always in trouble for being caustic, ironic, irreverent, "weird," and not a team player, but I am technically great at my job, and occasionally someone thinks I am hilarious, so I squeak by, but not unscathed. I will never be promoted or rewarded into higher management, only grudgingly kept on because my technical skill level is high and no one else knows how to do what I do.
另一个问题是环境的一部分。莫st of my co-workers are women, and they were taught in this conservative part of the country that 'being nice' is more valuable than being good at a job, authentic, ethical, fair, tolerant, intelligent, almost anything really.
I was even told once that we can't say the very word 'Problems' at work and should only say 'Opportunities.' How can we ever resolve conflict in a healthy way if we can't even acknowledge problems? Reality is still real, isn't it?
I have been able to adapt to some extent by using humor and smiling a lot, but ultimately my true nature comes out when I have to get the job done and I'm busted again.
Being me is not an excuse to be a jerk, but I do try to accept myself for who I am without berating myself too much. I change the little bit that I can. For example, I now know that if I get an email that is offensive, I will get super hot angry for a period of time so I never email or speak to that person for at least several hours to a day. Then I draft my response, let it sit, edit it down, and finally it sounds normal, or what I think normal is supposed to sound like.
I also bond with a few allies at work, which helps get me through the days.
I still do wish at times I knew what it was like to always know the right thing to say at work or how to say the wrong things just right.