我是一个女性藉与焦虑和恐慌症. On the Big 5, my "E" was 0%. The workplace can throw so much negativity at an INTJ, I always felt like I was being punished for trying to help. Ideas to improve efficiency and reduce stress were met with accusations of arrogance. I was accused of 'not liking' people because I didn't go out of my way to make friends, and did not socialize with co-workers outside of work. Two reasons for that. One, I would rather be with kids and hubby. I see co-workers all day long. Two, they would go out drinking. I don't drink. I don't condemn them for drinking, I just don't drink myself, so going out drinking doesn't sound fun to me. On top of all that, I had very little in common with most of them. The one I had the most in common with, the common factor was that we both enjoy the band Boston. That's good for about 10 minutes of conversation, tops. I was constantly being accused of being cold, hard, stuck up and was even told that they didn't believe I even have feelings, even though I went out of my way to walk on eggshells and carefully consider every word to try and avoid coming off wrong. I stopped making any kinds of suggestions so that they wouldn't accuse me of thinking I'm better than everyone else again. They couldn't even explain exactly what I had said or done that led them to feel that way when I asked. I tried the polite stuff, asking how was your weekend on Monday mornings, complimenting a pretty accessory or good work I'd seen them do, things like that, even though I already felt so much hostility from these people that I actually had to work up the courage to open my mouth and try to build a bridge, I learned a long time ago that in an abusive environment the best place to be is under the radar. It did not seem to change anything. I had definitely shown vulnerability, they had already reduced me to a panic attack when they threatened my job for something someone else did, because I was there and should have known what was going on. Sorry, I was doing my job, which was completely unrelated to the other person's job. I could tell a thousand more stories like that, the lousy position it is to be so hated by the bosses, but they can't deny your work ethic, so they try to use that against you. I should have been doing my job AND making sure she was doing hers. I told them, they gave this girl the position, meaning they trusted her to do the job, and I followed their lead on that and had trusted her to do her job, and focused on mine. What I did not say is that I personally felt that this girl was maybe not ready for as much responsibility as they gave her. No jealousy, I DID NOT want her job, I liked the work I was doing. Why can't the quality of my work just speak for itself? Leave me alone and let me work, I'm being productive, I show up, I work hard, I took on extra projects, and did things outside my job description without complaints. SO WHAT IF I DON"T HAVE A FACEBOOK, AND WON"T MAKE ONE JUST TO FRIEND CO-WORKERS? The things suggested have never helped me, nor has anything else that I've tried. The only thing that's ever been even slightly better is working with mostly men, instead of women (yes, I know, self-hating woman, guilty as charged). Men don't mind introverts so much, they don't take it personally, they see me working and have no problem with that. They will find me polite and helpful, if quiet, when they need to speak to me about work. Women seem to take it as a personal insult when someone just wants to...scandalous idea...WORK while at...WORK instead of promptly jumping into the social scene and making friends instead of focusing on the need I was hired to meet. I thought that was a good thing, I see so many comments from managers complaining about employees glued to phones/socializing on company time. Sorry for the long rant, I knew I have been extremely confused and hurt, I guess I'm pretty frustrated and feeling pretty hopeless about the whole thing, I don't work there anymore, thank the deity of your choice. I just don't have much hope that the next job will be much better.
K (not verified)says...
我是一个女性藉与焦虑和恐慌症. On the Big 5, my "E" was 0%. The workplace can throw so much negativity at an INTJ, I always felt like I was being punished for trying to help. Ideas to improve efficiency and reduce stress were met with accusations of arrogance. I was accused of 'not liking' people because I didn't go out of my way to make friends, and did not socialize with co-workers outside of work. Two reasons for that. One, I would rather be with kids and hubby. I see co-workers all day long. Two, they would go out drinking. I don't drink. I don't condemn them for drinking, I just don't drink myself, so going out drinking doesn't sound fun to me. On top of all that, I had very little in common with most of them. The one I had the most in common with, the common factor was that we both enjoy the band Boston. That's good for about 10 minutes of conversation, tops. I was constantly being accused of being cold, hard, stuck up and was even told that they didn't believe I even have feelings, even though I went out of my way to walk on eggshells and carefully consider every word to try and avoid coming off wrong. I stopped making any kinds of suggestions so that they wouldn't accuse me of thinking I'm better than everyone else again. They couldn't even explain exactly what I had said or done that led them to feel that way when I asked. I tried the polite stuff, asking how was your weekend on Monday mornings, complimenting a pretty accessory or good work I'd seen them do, things like that, even though I already felt so much hostility from these people that I actually had to work up the courage to open my mouth and try to build a bridge, I learned a long time ago that in an abusive environment the best place to be is under the radar. It did not seem to change anything. I had definitely shown vulnerability, they had already reduced me to a panic attack when they threatened my job for something someone else did, because I was there and should have known what was going on. Sorry, I was doing my job, which was completely unrelated to the other person's job. I could tell a thousand more stories like that, the lousy position it is to be so hated by the bosses, but they can't deny your work ethic, so they try to use that against you. I should have been doing my job AND making sure she was doing hers. I told them, they gave this girl the position, meaning they trusted her to do the job, and I followed their lead on that and had trusted her to do her job, and focused on mine. What I did not say is that I personally felt that this girl was maybe not ready for as much responsibility as they gave her. No jealousy, I DID NOT want her job, I liked the work I was doing. Why can't the quality of my work just speak for itself? Leave me alone and let me work, I'm being productive, I show up, I work hard, I took on extra projects, and did things outside my job description without complaints. SO WHAT IF I DON"T HAVE A FACEBOOK, AND WON"T MAKE ONE JUST TO FRIEND CO-WORKERS? The things suggested have never helped me, nor has anything else that I've tried. The only thing that's ever been even slightly better is working with mostly men, instead of women (yes, I know, self-hating woman, guilty as charged). Men don't mind introverts so much, they don't take it personally, they see me working and have no problem with that. They will find me polite and helpful, if quiet, when they need to speak to me about work. Women seem to take it as a personal insult when someone just wants to...scandalous idea...WORK while at...WORK instead of promptly jumping into the social scene and making friends instead of focusing on the need I was hired to meet. I thought that was a good thing, I see so many comments from managers complaining about employees glued to phones/socializing on company time. Sorry for the long rant, I knew I have been extremely confused and hurt, I guess I'm pretty frustrated and feeling pretty hopeless about the whole thing, I don't work there anymore, thank the deity of your choice. I just don't have much hope that the next job will be much better.