Interesting post and comments. I was just talking to my husband about feeling like an "outsider". When I first learned I was an INTJ and did a bit of reading on it, I was like "of course!" Of course, I'm a "mastermind", of course, I'm a rare type, of course, of course...I felt a bit of pride over the whole thing. Now that's it's sunk in a bit, I'm seeing it more for the burden that it is. Frankly, people think I'm an odd duck. And, I'd rather not be an odd duck! I have many warm friendships, but nothing very close. I'm not cold or rude to people, I have good social skills. But, I do find that despite well-developed empathy for sad situations, when confronted with a friend's minor, life-conundrums, I'm pretty chilly. I can't understand why they don't just see the logic of the situation and pull themselves out of it! I mean, I get it - not everyone is TJ, but come on! I've pointed out the solution, let's move on! Who the f cares what so and so did or thinks? Ha. Wherever their minds are, whatever they are feeling, is a total mystery to me. I don't think I let on that I'm exasperated, but I think it must come through, because people keep me at arms length. My family thinks I am a stubborn, know it all, but they are all messes, constantly screwing up their lives. They come to me for advice and then hate me for it. Argh. I do like parties, btw. Can't be pigeonholed that much, but I shut down after just a short time, like a true introvert. I just wish I could find more like-minded women, those with interests. I don't know a single woman with a consistent hobby or that like to read up on interests outside of their daily life. What do they do with their time? Are they watching t.v.? Cooking? I can't figure it out. Doesn't everyone try to identify plants and read about the lifestyles of the medieval family? I'm 40. I have no idea when I'm going to get comfortable with this weird little life I'm living. I'm fearful that my daughter will be like me and not like me. INTJ life. Meh.
SG (not verified)says...
Interesting post and comments. I was just talking to my husband about feeling like an "outsider". When I first learned I was an INTJ and did a bit of reading on it, I was like "of course!" Of course, I'm a "mastermind", of course, I'm a rare type, of course, of course...I felt a bit of pride over the whole thing. Now that's it's sunk in a bit, I'm seeing it more for the burden that it is. Frankly, people think I'm an odd duck. And, I'd rather not be an odd duck! I have many warm friendships, but nothing very close. I'm not cold or rude to people, I have good social skills. But, I do find that despite well-developed empathy for sad situations, when confronted with a friend's minor, life-conundrums, I'm pretty chilly. I can't understand why they don't just see the logic of the situation and pull themselves out of it! I mean, I get it - not everyone is TJ, but come on! I've pointed out the solution, let's move on! Who the f cares what so and so did or thinks? Ha. Wherever their minds are, whatever they are feeling, is a total mystery to me. I don't think I let on that I'm exasperated, but I think it must come through, because people keep me at arms length. My family thinks I am a stubborn, know it all, but they are all messes, constantly screwing up their lives. They come to me for advice and then hate me for it. Argh. I do like parties, btw. Can't be pigeonholed that much, but I shut down after just a short time, like a true introvert. I just wish I could find more like-minded women, those with interests. I don't know a single woman with a consistent hobby or that like to read up on interests outside of their daily life. What do they do with their time? Are they watching t.v.? Cooking? I can't figure it out. Doesn't everyone try to identify plants and read about the lifestyles of the medieval family? I'm 40. I have no idea when I'm going to get comfortable with this weird little life I'm living. I'm fearful that my daughter will be like me and not like me. INTJ life. Meh.