Silly, silly article. I find the title annoying and abrasive, to be honest. What is the imperative to LEARN about romance? And who are you to instruct me on or any other INTJ on the topic? Most INTJs don't want to be told anything especially not by a bossy ENTJ type. While you state that you are an INTJ, you come across much more like an ENTJ director (either that or you are a Type 8 INTJ). It reminds me of the Monty Python skit, The Grim Reaper and the Reaper's admonishment that "You Americans are all alike... You like to point fingers at people and say... Let me tell you something... " Really? Maybe this stuff is news to some, but I think most self reflective INTJs know these things about themselves already.
Perhaps a better article could be written to non-INTJs who have unrealistic, romantic expectations of their INTJ partner. You know, most INTJs are not going are not going to change significantly in this regard. And if a non INTJ is intimidated from our high intelligence (or if they cannot match it) they probably shouldn't date us. Less intelligent partners bore me to tears. I wouldn't even pursue such a relationship. It would not work for me. Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I might be selective, but that doesn't make me a snob!
Please keep in mind that some people are more highly evolved, have done more psychological work and therefore have become more integrated over time. This is a statement of fact and not an argument for elitism. It should not be assumed that your readership is 'know nothing' INTJs that require instruction. Maybe that's your targeted audience. But this form of instruction is a 'hard sell' because most INTJs are self reflective, sensitive and critical of their faults. They probably have a better sense of themselves than most types. Therefore, a strategy to communicate using gross generalizations is not going to be effective at reaching a large audience. PersonalityJunkie does a much better jon in that regard, informing rather than preaching or instructing. For example, this article's statement: "we [INTJs] have not yet developed any sort of vocabulary to describe what's going on in our hearts." is not true for ALL INTJs. I am in touch with my feelings and I can express them quite well. It's not my natural 'go to' or preference, however, I have developed my feeling side over the years to the point that I sometimes test INFJ. INTJ behavior can be context specific. Respecting your INTJ readership means respecting individual differences and stages of development.
让我提供另一个视角。我感到很comfortable with my relationship to romance as an INTJ. I am not born a romantic. And I do not plan to become one any time soon. It hasn't been an issue with any of my partners either. We are okay with not celebrating Valentine's Day. We find ways to be intimate in our own ways and on our own terms. Secondly, it would be inaccurate to say that INTJs are awkward with the dating game. Rather, it would be more fair to say, we don't to play the "dating game". It's stupid and unnecessary. The establishment of mature, adult intimate relationships between two consenting adults does not require game playing. INTJs are not incompetent idiots when it comes to romance. INTJs don't value to superficial elements and rituals that men and women go through to make it into the bedroom. We have integrity and personal values and high standards to which we follow.
I also have a problem with grand generalizations made about all INTJs because inevitably you will find exceptions. Perhaps it was an attempt to be lighthearted and humorous, however, it should be acknowledged that people are not Myers-Briggs types. People are individuals. And if an INTJ is really having that much difficulty in the relationship department maybe they should seek out therapy rather than consult a blog article.
When I read that INTJs are no good at flirting, I have to laugh. I am the greatest flirt around. Most people consider me a natural. I have not had difficulties in engaging with men. Chalk it up to self confidence and comfort with my own sexuality. I also have a dry sense of humor which some people do not appreciate or find appealing. To each their own. How about embracing and celebrating differences rather than trying to get other people to fit a mold or an ideal that no real human being can meet?
There is virtue in authenticity, integrity, honesty and humility. If people can't appreciate me for who I am, I'd rather not pursue a relationship with them. People need to feel comfortable in their own skin rather than feel they need to do contortions or 'shapeshift' in order to conform to social norms. Most INTJs would agree, I believe.
BoredINTJ at 1AM (not verified)says...
Silly, silly article. I find the title annoying and abrasive, to be honest. What is the imperative to LEARN about romance? And who are you to instruct me on or any other INTJ on the topic? Most INTJs don't want to be told anything especially not by a bossy ENTJ type. While you state that you are an INTJ, you come across much more like an ENTJ director (either that or you are a Type 8 INTJ). It reminds me of the Monty Python skit, The Grim Reaper and the Reaper's admonishment that "You Americans are all alike... You like to point fingers at people and say... Let me tell you something... " Really? Maybe this stuff is news to some, but I think most self reflective INTJs know these things about themselves already.
Perhaps a better article could be written to non-INTJs who have unrealistic, romantic expectations of their INTJ partner. You know, most INTJs are not going are not going to change significantly in this regard. And if a non INTJ is intimidated from our high intelligence (or if they cannot match it) they probably shouldn't date us. Less intelligent partners bore me to tears. I wouldn't even pursue such a relationship. It would not work for me. Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I might be selective, but that doesn't make me a snob!
Please keep in mind that some people are more highly evolved, have done more psychological work and therefore have become more integrated over time. This is a statement of fact and not an argument for elitism. It should not be assumed that your readership is 'know nothing' INTJs that require instruction. Maybe that's your targeted audience. But this form of instruction is a 'hard sell' because most INTJs are self reflective, sensitive and critical of their faults. They probably have a better sense of themselves than most types. Therefore, a strategy to communicate using gross generalizations is not going to be effective at reaching a large audience. PersonalityJunkie does a much better jon in that regard, informing rather than preaching or instructing. For example, this article's statement: "we [INTJs] have not yet developed any sort of vocabulary to describe what's going on in our hearts." is not true for ALL INTJs. I am in touch with my feelings and I can express them quite well. It's not my natural 'go to' or preference, however, I have developed my feeling side over the years to the point that I sometimes test INFJ. INTJ behavior can be context specific. Respecting your INTJ readership means respecting individual differences and stages of development.
让我提供另一个视角。我感到很comfortable with my relationship to romance as an INTJ. I am not born a romantic. And I do not plan to become one any time soon. It hasn't been an issue with any of my partners either. We are okay with not celebrating Valentine's Day. We find ways to be intimate in our own ways and on our own terms. Secondly, it would be inaccurate to say that INTJs are awkward with the dating game. Rather, it would be more fair to say, we don't to play the "dating game". It's stupid and unnecessary. The establishment of mature, adult intimate relationships between two consenting adults does not require game playing. INTJs are not incompetent idiots when it comes to romance. INTJs don't value to superficial elements and rituals that men and women go through to make it into the bedroom. We have integrity and personal values and high standards to which we follow.
I also have a problem with grand generalizations made about all INTJs because inevitably you will find exceptions. Perhaps it was an attempt to be lighthearted and humorous, however, it should be acknowledged that people are not Myers-Briggs types. People are individuals. And if an INTJ is really having that much difficulty in the relationship department maybe they should seek out therapy rather than consult a blog article.
When I read that INTJs are no good at flirting, I have to laugh. I am the greatest flirt around. Most people consider me a natural. I have not had difficulties in engaging with men. Chalk it up to self confidence and comfort with my own sexuality. I also have a dry sense of humor which some people do not appreciate or find appealing. To each their own. How about embracing and celebrating differences rather than trying to get other people to fit a mold or an ideal that no real human being can meet?
There is virtue in authenticity, integrity, honesty and humility. If people can't appreciate me for who I am, I'd rather not pursue a relationship with them. People need to feel comfortable in their own skin rather than feel they need to do contortions or 'shapeshift' in order to conform to social norms. Most INTJs would agree, I believe.