I am now an old man. I never had children and I do not think that I missed anything. I spent six years as a young man teaching children in secondary schools in England (ages 11-18). It is difficult to motivate children to learn. I am an introvert anyway, with excellent written skills but hardly an inspiring conversationalist. I wasn't that good a teacher, except with studious, self-motivated kids who wanted the facts and nothing but the facts (a good area for ISTJs to find themselves - I have a multitude of facts in my head). I have also got high standards. Behavioural problems arising, kids who cannot concentrate for five minutes, kids who are not interested in learning, kids who are intent upon disruptive .... How do you deal with these things? And if you have those problems in a school situation how would you handle it at home with your own child? It didn't sound like fun to me, it didn't sound like anything enjoyable. Yes, my kid(s) might have been intelligent, pleasant, hard-working (they better had been!). Then again. There are no guarantees. And as a teacher I wouldn't like to recall some of the very bright, intelligent, industrious 11 and 12-year-olds, often from very middle-class backgrounds, who "turned bad" when they got to the age of 15! The boy who started doing drugs and failed all the exams he couldn't have failed to pass at the age of 12. The very middle class girl from a very good home who got pregnant at the age of 14 because all her friends were "doing sex"! And then if you have a child who is doing all the right things and starts being bullied incessantly because he/she is a "goody-two-shoes" (and I have seen that close up. The parents were at a total loss as to what they could do). No. In a world where possessing the facts and being a logical thinker count for increasingly little as the world moves towards one extreme or the other - no! I have made a number of bad decisions in my life (as well as a lot of good ones). For me personally (this does not apply to everyone) not having children was definitely the right decision!
ashaw9813says...
I am now an old man. I never had children and I do not think that I missed anything.
I spent six years as a young man teaching children in secondary schools in England (ages 11-18). It is difficult to motivate children to learn. I am an introvert anyway, with excellent written skills but hardly an inspiring conversationalist. I wasn't that good a teacher, except with studious, self-motivated kids who wanted the facts and nothing but the facts (a good area for ISTJs to find themselves - I have a multitude of facts in my head).
I have also got high standards. Behavioural problems arising, kids who cannot concentrate for five minutes, kids who are not interested in learning, kids who are intent upon disruptive .... How do you deal with these things?
And if you have those problems in a school situation how would you handle it at home with your own child? It didn't sound like fun to me, it didn't sound like anything enjoyable.
Yes, my kid(s) might have been intelligent, pleasant, hard-working (they better had been!). Then again. There are no guarantees.
And as a teacher I wouldn't like to recall some of the very bright, intelligent, industrious 11 and 12-year-olds, often from very middle-class backgrounds, who "turned bad" when they got to the age of 15! The boy who started doing drugs and failed all the exams he couldn't have failed to pass at the age of 12. The very middle class girl from a very good home who got pregnant at the age of 14 because all her friends were "doing sex"!
And then if you have a child who is doing all the right things and starts being bullied incessantly because he/she is a "goody-two-shoes" (and I have seen that close up. The parents were at a total loss as to what they could do).
No. In a world where possessing the facts and being a logical thinker count for increasingly little as the world moves towards one extreme or the other - no!
I have made a number of bad decisions in my life (as well as a lot of good ones). For me personally (this does not apply to everyone) not having children was definitely the right decision!