I agree with you and as an INTJ female I'm amazed at the fervor that some F types pursue in having "babies." I've met women who have spent huge dollars on IVF and are emotional wrecks when they are unsuccessful in maintaining a pregnancy. It almost seems as if 90% of their self identity is connected to being a parent. They don't seem to be able to move on and do something alternatively interesting with their lives. I have two 30 something male friends who are under huge pressure from their partners to have children. One is an ESTJ and he has no interest whatsoever and doesn't even like to be in the same room as children. He loves his life which is packed with work, studying for a degree and about a dozen outdoor sports like hiking, surfing, scuba diving, etc. The other is an ISFJ and he loves children and would be a great parent. But he told me that he cannot justify bringing a child into a world where there are already too many children and too many unwanted children. He said he would rather take in an already existing child that needs a good home and guidance. However,his ENFP partner is adamant that she must have her own baby. She's not a selfish person, but this position flies in the face of reason and logic. Her own childhood was a nightmare being raised by a single, drug addicted mother who subjected her and her siblings to horrible poverty and depravation. The only thing I can figure is she wants to "prove" she can do a better job than her own mother. My ESTJ friends partner has left him because having a child is a "deal-breaker" for her. It's so sad because they are in every other way so suited to each other and he is heartbroken. Very odd that some people rank having a child so high that they will turn their lives upside down. From my perspective this drive might be partly powered by hormones. Our bodies trick us into having children as part of keeping the species alive, even though at times it makes no logical sense. And then what is sadder is many of these people who were so fanatic about having children end up with children who are spoiled, selfish and treat their parents like dirt, breaking their hearts. I worked in employee benefits for a number of years and much of the emotional wreckage was due to children that were ruining their parents retirement plans.
Mary1245 (not verified)says...
I agree with you and as an INTJ female I'm amazed at the fervor that some F types pursue in having "babies." I've met women who have spent huge dollars on IVF and are emotional wrecks when they are unsuccessful in maintaining a pregnancy. It almost seems as if 90% of their self identity is connected to being a parent. They don't seem to be able to move on and do something alternatively interesting with their lives. I have two 30 something male friends who are under huge pressure from their partners to have children. One is an ESTJ and he has no interest whatsoever and doesn't even like to be in the same room as children. He loves his life which is packed with work, studying for a degree and about a dozen outdoor sports like hiking, surfing, scuba diving, etc. The other is an ISFJ and he loves children and would be a great parent. But he told me that he cannot justify bringing a child into a world where there are already too many children and too many unwanted children. He said he would rather take in an already existing child that needs a good home and guidance. However,his ENFP partner is adamant that she must have her own baby. She's not a selfish person, but this position flies in the face of reason and logic. Her own childhood was a nightmare being raised by a single, drug addicted mother who subjected her and her siblings to horrible poverty and depravation. The only thing I can figure is she wants to "prove" she can do a better job than her own mother. My ESTJ friends partner has left him because having a child is a "deal-breaker" for her. It's so sad because they are in every other way so suited to each other and he is heartbroken. Very odd that some people rank having a child so high that they will turn their lives upside down. From my perspective this drive might be partly powered by hormones. Our bodies trick us into having children as part of keeping the species alive, even though at times it makes no logical sense. And then what is sadder is many of these people who were so fanatic about having children end up with children who are spoiled, selfish and treat their parents like dirt, breaking their hearts. I worked in employee benefits for a number of years and much of the emotional wreckage was due to children that were ruining their parents retirement plans.