ENTJ 20-something here and I have yet to have kids (thankfully) and I dont think I ever will want to. I've never had the same pull to have or be surrounded by small infants that other girls around me have had at all levels of my life. As a kid I was always the only female to remain sitting with the boys in grade school when teachers who were out on maternity leave would come back into class with their screaming bundles of "joy" and all the girls would crowd around and ooo and aw and ask to hold or touch the baby *eye roll*. I never felt the drive to play with or watch my younger cousins. I felt sheer terror when I was of age to babysit and was asked to watch younger family members who required my attention and care and similarly balked when asked by family friends if I would like a job babysitting their tiny humans. You couldnt pay me enough to deal with THAT. Everyone would laugh and say, "oh someday, you'll want them".
Several years later and I STILL have 0 clue what they are talking about (I am soon to be 26). I still dont care to hold the babies of co-workers who come back on their maternity leave to show off their new offspring (although I will smile and tell them they are cute as is the custom of being an adult faced with uncomfortable situations). My boyfriend wants kids someday and is an ESFJ and I sometimes feel like we will reach this place in my life where I give in and give him children to make him happy and start the next phase of his life. I often wonder how that will make my life after. This blog sounds EXACTLY like how my life would be after - and it helps show me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I could be a good mother...and yet highlights some of the things I fear. I've felt that not having that "I can't wait to be a mommy" vibe would make me a terrible mother. I laugh at the idea that children can be someones whole life and cant help but feel sorry for women who put their children first for 18 years and then wonder why they are so lonely when their kids grow up or move off or why their marriages fell apart. Or I watch in dismay at helicopter parents who suck the individuality of their children and dont help them learn to be autonomous and take care of themselves (for you know, when they GROW UP and become an adult lol). Trust me - I dated one and he couldnt even put his own clothes away after they were washed because his MOTHER always did that for him *eye roll* and went home EVERY WEEKEND in college.
所以,谢谢你this post! It means a lot to me even though I do not have kids yet.
Kaitlin (not verified)says...
ENTJ 20-something here and I have yet to have kids (thankfully) and I dont think I ever will want to. I've never had the same pull to have or be surrounded by small infants that other girls around me have had at all levels of my life. As a kid I was always the only female to remain sitting with the boys in grade school when teachers who were out on maternity leave would come back into class with their screaming bundles of "joy" and all the girls would crowd around and ooo and aw and ask to hold or touch the baby *eye roll*. I never felt the drive to play with or watch my younger cousins. I felt sheer terror when I was of age to babysit and was asked to watch younger family members who required my attention and care and similarly balked when asked by family friends if I would like a job babysitting their tiny humans. You couldnt pay me enough to deal with THAT. Everyone would laugh and say, "oh someday, you'll want them".
Several years later and I STILL have 0 clue what they are talking about (I am soon to be 26). I still dont care to hold the babies of co-workers who come back on their maternity leave to show off their new offspring (although I will smile and tell them they are cute as is the custom of being an adult faced with uncomfortable situations). My boyfriend wants kids someday and is an ESFJ and I sometimes feel like we will reach this place in my life where I give in and give him children to make him happy and start the next phase of his life. I often wonder how that will make my life after. This blog sounds EXACTLY like how my life would be after - and it helps show me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I could be a good mother...and yet highlights some of the things I fear. I've felt that not having that "I can't wait to be a mommy" vibe would make me a terrible mother. I laugh at the idea that children can be someones whole life and cant help but feel sorry for women who put their children first for 18 years and then wonder why they are so lonely when their kids grow up or move off or why their marriages fell apart. Or I watch in dismay at helicopter parents who suck the individuality of their children and dont help them learn to be autonomous and take care of themselves (for you know, when they GROW UP and become an adult lol). Trust me - I dated one and he couldnt even put his own clothes away after they were washed because his MOTHER always did that for him *eye roll* and went home EVERY WEEKEND in college.
所以,谢谢你this post! It means a lot to me even though I do not have kids yet.