Anticipating needs... I have said these exact words in arguments many times. I have thought that I was somehow dysfunctional for thinking this but your post helps me to see that it’s actually my response to my type. And I love my type! ENFPs are so in tune with other’s experience (makes us so darn magnetic) that we can feel super annoyed when others don’t reciprocate our energy.
So what to do?? It’s the expectation of reciprocation that seems disappoint me. I think I’m going to pause and say a little ‘prayer’ of thanks to my type and gifts when I’m feeling my needs are being neglected and unanticipated. “I’m so proud of my gift to be able to read people and connect to them. I have amazing powers!” Then I’m going to tell myself that just because I’m amazingly gifted to know other people’s needs and feelings I DONT HAVE TO MEET THEIR NEEDS. Ever. They are responsible for meeting their needs. I then release myself from the expectation I carry that others need to know what I need, too. I’m released from being pissed at them for not ‘getting it.’ And if they happen to understand and offer me my level of reliability and deep understanding I can then truly enjoy it as it comes to me.
I feel like this is a way of maintaining my energy and power, like not sloshing the soup bowl as I walk to the table, in a manner of speaking. All my soup remains in the bowl. No messy hard feelings to clean up.
Jana B (not verified)says...
Yes Dawn!
Anticipating needs... I have said these exact words in arguments many times. I have thought that I was somehow dysfunctional for thinking this but your post helps me to see that it’s actually my response to my type. And I love my type! ENFPs are so in tune with other’s experience (makes us so darn magnetic) that we can feel super annoyed when others don’t reciprocate our energy.
So what to do?? It’s the expectation of reciprocation that seems disappoint me. I think I’m going to pause and say a little ‘prayer’ of thanks to my type and gifts when I’m feeling my needs are being neglected and unanticipated. “I’m so proud of my gift to be able to read people and connect to them. I have amazing powers!” Then I’m going to tell myself that just because I’m amazingly gifted to know other people’s needs and feelings I DONT HAVE TO MEET THEIR NEEDS. Ever. They are responsible for meeting their needs. I then release myself from the expectation I carry that others need to know what I need, too. I’m released from being pissed at them for not ‘getting it.’ And if they happen to understand and offer me my level of reliability and deep understanding I can then truly enjoy it as it comes to me.
I feel like this is a way of maintaining my energy and power, like not sloshing the soup bowl as I walk to the table, in a manner of speaking. All my soup remains in the bowl. No messy hard feelings to clean up.
Thanks again for the inspired post!