Thanks for these comments, Jana! I've wrestled with this problem a LOT, and somehow what you said made things clearer. Some people say that "pleasers" have an ulterior motive to get themselves cared for, but that's not a very helpful way to put it. I think you are correct in presenting it as First a sense that the other's needs must be met at all costs. Second, after I have utterly exhausted myself taking care of others, it's only natural to think,"Wow, I really need some TLC... Where are my caretakers?" The expectation that what goes around will come around is not exactly something we make up, either: We are schooled in this. We are taught to be self-sacrificing. They push it hard, because most people are more resistant. ENFPs just soak up the lesson more readily.
Artemis (not verified)says...
Thanks for these comments, Jana! I've wrestled with this problem a LOT, and somehow what you said made things clearer. Some people say that "pleasers" have an ulterior motive to get themselves cared for, but that's not a very helpful way to put it. I think you are correct in presenting it as First a sense that the other's needs must be met at all costs. Second, after I have utterly exhausted myself taking care of others, it's only natural to think,"Wow, I really need some TLC... Where are my caretakers?" The expectation that what goes around will come around is not exactly something we make up, either: We are schooled in this. We are taught to be self-sacrificing. They push it hard, because most people are more resistant. ENFPs just soak up the lesson more readily.