This is so helpful and accurate! My current boyfriend is an ENTP, I'm an INFJ. And yes, yes, yes, all the way. This article is on point for our relationship. We met by bonding over abstract topics at work and that's still one of our favorite things to do...he keeps me trying new things/foods/etc., which is uncomfortable but good for me. The biggest challenge in our connection so far is that he has a hard time keeping plans and being consistent (fear of being "tied down"), which I interpret as him not caring about me (because my tendency is to ALWAYS keep commitments, even if I'm not into it, and to stay rigorously on schedule). I also have some nasty abandonment issues, I think. My neediness combined with his tendency to show passion and affection and commitment for a while, then pull back and go silent for a while--as abandonment. He's untinentionally hurt my feelings quite a few times because of this; I've interpreted it as him "ghosting" me and had my heart unecessarily broken (he'd call later while I was crying and holding my aching self together, totally oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong or that I'd been hurt). I think that's the main obstacle between these two types, actually, just having lived it. The INFJ needs to let go of their love of structrue and predictability and "just have fun" a little, to treat and love the ENTP as one would a cat that will come and go as it pleases. The ENTP needs to learn to offer some form of semi-consistent reassurance to the INFJ that he is coming back, that he does feel affection and is faithful for now, but that he needs his own adventure too. And being sometimes involved in the ENTP's adventure will expand, develop, and even thrill the INFJ at times (I do also love me a decent dose of spontaneity, it makes me feel like a "badass," which I ocassionally need to feel like. Driving up to the mountains at a moment's notice at 2 a.m. to watch the meteor shower and discuss the meaning of life in a sleeping bag? Terrifying, but YES please.)
总的来说,有活d it, I think this IS a good match in many ways (logical thinking, philosiphizing late into the night, emotional intuition and empathy for each other, pretty open communication), but it is also an uncomfortable match in ways (he expresses that I try to "tie him down" too much, I feel like I never know if he's going to be around or not and that I can't count on him as much as I'd like, and that I'm at risk of being dumped if he grows bored). However, maybe good relationships do have to include disagreement and exposure to traits that make us uncomfortable, in order to create balance. And this is, actually, my first partner (21 years old, we met at 19), so it's been a learning experience and I don't have anything to compare it to.
Madeline F Morgan (not verified)says...
This is so helpful and accurate! My current boyfriend is an ENTP, I'm an INFJ. And yes, yes, yes, all the way. This article is on point for our relationship. We met by bonding over abstract topics at work and that's still one of our favorite things to do...he keeps me trying new things/foods/etc., which is uncomfortable but good for me. The biggest challenge in our connection so far is that he has a hard time keeping plans and being consistent (fear of being "tied down"), which I interpret as him not caring about me (because my tendency is to ALWAYS keep commitments, even if I'm not into it, and to stay rigorously on schedule). I also have some nasty abandonment issues, I think. My neediness combined with his tendency to show passion and affection and commitment for a while, then pull back and go silent for a while--as abandonment. He's untinentionally hurt my feelings quite a few times because of this; I've interpreted it as him "ghosting" me and had my heart unecessarily broken (he'd call later while I was crying and holding my aching self together, totally oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong or that I'd been hurt). I think that's the main obstacle between these two types, actually, just having lived it. The INFJ needs to let go of their love of structrue and predictability and "just have fun" a little, to treat and love the ENTP as one would a cat that will come and go as it pleases. The ENTP needs to learn to offer some form of semi-consistent reassurance to the INFJ that he is coming back, that he does feel affection and is faithful for now, but that he needs his own adventure too. And being sometimes involved in the ENTP's adventure will expand, develop, and even thrill the INFJ at times (I do also love me a decent dose of spontaneity, it makes me feel like a "badass," which I ocassionally need to feel like. Driving up to the mountains at a moment's notice at 2 a.m. to watch the meteor shower and discuss the meaning of life in a sleeping bag? Terrifying, but YES please.)
总的来说,有活d it, I think this IS a good match in many ways (logical thinking, philosiphizing late into the night, emotional intuition and empathy for each other, pretty open communication), but it is also an uncomfortable match in ways (he expresses that I try to "tie him down" too much, I feel like I never know if he's going to be around or not and that I can't count on him as much as I'd like, and that I'm at risk of being dumped if he grows bored). However, maybe good relationships do have to include disagreement and exposure to traits that make us uncomfortable, in order to create balance. And this is, actually, my first partner (21 years old, we met at 19), so it's been a learning experience and I don't have anything to compare it to.