I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for writing this. I’ve known my INFJ traits for a while but have only recently started diving in to find real understanding of certain parts of myself. The door slam in particular, hits home. About 3 years ago I excommunicated a childhood friend of 21 years. It wasn’t premeditated in the sense of I never thought of cutting ties but was indeed aware of the growing strain it was putting on my soul. I decided it and followed through instantaneously (as I have prior with girlfriends and ‘friends’ alike). For the exact reason scenario 1 describes. If I ever know he *truly* needs me, I’d show up for him, and hope I have the same silent respect from him. The relationship became entirely to one-sided with no understanding of who I am and no care to ever increasing abuse of my all-in for you because I care mind-set. I often ponder on if it had always been that way and I was blind or if it was a change that occurred somewhere down the line. Either way, we INFJs can absolutely be cold hearted in response to what has really hurt us, but (at least with me) I silently mourn the loss of our brother type of bond. It was decided out of love for who I am and this couldn’t be farther from cold hearted. This website is providing so much valuable insight in a form that I can actually relate to and seemingly I can understand all of. I’m very appreciative of it and all yours and every other contributors writings. Mental comfort is hard to find sometimes. Especially since we are always busy lending ourselves so that those we love and even strangers have all they need and hopefully at least some of what they want. You know.. it’s fascinating to me how I (we?) rarely will receive this same gift from someone else. A true rarity we must actually be. Sincerely..thank you for your insight and wisdom. It is well received, and dare I say, needed, now that I have it.
Joshua W (not verified)says...
I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for writing this. I’ve known my INFJ traits for a while but have only recently started diving in to find real understanding of certain parts of myself. The door slam in particular, hits home. About 3 years ago I excommunicated a childhood friend of 21 years. It wasn’t premeditated in the sense of I never thought of cutting ties but was indeed aware of the growing strain it was putting on my soul. I decided it and followed through instantaneously (as I have prior with girlfriends and ‘friends’ alike). For the exact reason scenario 1 describes. If I ever know he *truly* needs me, I’d show up for him, and hope I have the same silent respect from him. The relationship became entirely to one-sided with no understanding of who I am and no care to ever increasing abuse of my all-in for you because I care mind-set. I often ponder on if it had always been that way and I was blind or if it was a change that occurred somewhere down the line. Either way, we INFJs can absolutely be cold hearted in response to what has really hurt us, but (at least with me) I silently mourn the loss of our brother type of bond. It was decided out of love for who I am and this couldn’t be farther from cold hearted. This website is providing so much valuable insight in a form that I can actually relate to and seemingly I can understand all of. I’m very appreciative of it and all yours and every other contributors writings. Mental comfort is hard to find sometimes. Especially since we are always busy lending ourselves so that those we love and even strangers have all they need and hopefully at least some of what they want. You know.. it’s fascinating to me how I (we?) rarely will receive this same gift from someone else. A true rarity we must actually be. Sincerely..thank you for your insight and wisdom. It is well received, and dare I say, needed, now that I have it.