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Think you know everything about your Introvert friends? You’re probably wrong.

The truth is, Extraverts often make the same mistakes about Introverts over and over again – even if they’re close friends. Extraverts worry that their Introvert friends are lonely, anti-social or just plain rude, but really they’re just different to you.

Here are the top six mistakes Extraverts make about Introverts and how to combat them.

Mistake #1: Taking offense when they cancel plans

我f you’re friends with Introverts, you’ve got to get used to them canceling on you. It’s nothing personal, they just don’t feel like hanging out tonight – with you or anyone else. There doesn’t have to be a hidden reason or motive for Introverts to take a rain check. It’s usually as simple as they need time to recharge their social batteries and they would prefer to be alone.

When your Introvert friend calls to scrap your plans to hang out, just accept their decision and move on. You’ll see them soon enough, once they’ve had some quality alone time and they’re ready to be around people again! In these cases it’s not you, it really is them.

Mistake #2: Worrying your Introverted friend is antisocial

Your Introvert friends may prefer to spend time one-on-one with you or a small group of close friends rather than in a large group – that doesn’t mean they’re anti-social; it means they prefer to hang out in small groups! Just because they don’t like to socialize in the same way you do, don’t make the mistake of thinking they don’t like socializing at all!

When Introverts tell you they don’t want to go to that party or concert and would prefer a one-on-one coffee date instead, they’re just showing you how they like to socialize. In fact, having Introvert friends can often mean you get to enjoy more quality time together and build a more meaningful connection than with other Extraverts. Rather than always having the chit-chat and small talk that’s common in big groups, you and the Introverts in your life can go deeper into important discussions and topics that you wouldn’t talk about with your other friends. Embrace their choices and let it bring you closer.

Mistake #3: Believing they’re more shy than you

我ntroversion doesn’t equal shyness. And when you hang out with Introverts for long enough, you’ll quickly realize they can be just as outgoing and outspoken as you are. It all comes down to the environment they’re in. It’s true that at a party you might see your Extravert friends working the room, sparking up conversations with new people and making new connections, while your Introvert friends stick to the people they know in one corner. But don’t make the mistake of thinking they’re shy. They just prefer to spend time with the people they know and like – and they can have tons of confidence while doing it!

Mistake #4: Worrying they’re lonely

One of the top mistakes Extraverts make about their Introvert friends is worrying that they’re lonely. You haven’t seen them in a week, they just canceled on your plans for this weekend, and they only seem to spend time at home – aren’t they lonely? Probably not.

While Introverts enjoy spending time with other people, they don’t have the same need to be sociable that you and other Extraverts do. You’ve probably noticed that after focusing on work or being by yourself for a long time, you need to go out and surround yourself with people - either by seeing friends, meeting new people or being in large crowds. But for your Introvert friends, this process is reversed.

我ntroverts usually find large social groups tiring and spending time alone is how they prefer to recharge. This doesn’t mean that your Introvert friends are getting lonely - though you can always check in with them if you’re worried they are - chances are they’re just enjoying making time for activities that don’t involve other people or you.

Mistake #5: Saying they’re not as fun as your Extravert friends

Your Introvert friends might not be the last man standing at every party but that doesn’t make them boring. In fact, their ability to connect with people on a deeper level can make them even more interesting than the sometimes more superficial Extraverts. Having fun with your Introvert friends is all about picking the activities that they enjoy – think quieter venues with more space to chat and share, rather than big crowds, noise and chaos.

我f you can find the spaces that your Introvert friends feel most comfortable in, you can make sure that you both have fun every time. And you also have the chance to try out new hobbies and fun spots that you wouldn’t necessarily visit with the Extraverts in your life.

Mistake #6: Assuming Introverts aren’t good in a crisis

我n a difficult situation, some people might turn to the loudest person in the room expecting them to take charge and deal with the situation. But your Introvert friends might actually be the best people to handle a challenging or difficult scenario.

我ntroverts can remain calm, focus on the job in hand and find a solution without being overly dramatic or vying for attention. Depending on their personality type, Introverts might be better at problem-solving, analysis, and taking a methodical approach to problems. Or they might be better at empathizing and caring for the people around them. Don’t discount the Introverts in your life when you’re dealing with a crisis – they could be your biggest ally or asset.

Learn to love your Introvert friends their way

我f you’re an Extravert with Introvert friends, you’ll probably need to make some compromises in how you socialize. It’s likely that the Introverts in your life won’t always want to do the things you do, whether that’s hanging out every night, going to every party in town, and/or visiting the busiest and most frenetic parts of the city. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together.

To build stronger relationships, work on loving the Introverts in your life the way they want to be loved and listen to what they’re trying to tell you when they choose to spend time alone or without you.